Santa Barbara: Week Three

Week Three at the monastery brought the local chapter of "Conscious Evolutionaries." Which sounds like they are refugees from a Kansas city school board. When I asked one of the participants about the organization, she gave the impression of a worldwide organization devoted to . . . not much. Something about realizing that everything evolves, being intentional about one's personal development, releasing peace into the universe, there is a season, turn, turn, turn . . . . My mind wandered at that point.

During the week, I noticed that the Conscious Evolutionaries practiced something I would describe as the Knowing Hug. It began with two women (there was only one man in the group, and I never saw him doing this) making eye contact. Each would proceed to tilt her head to a 45 degree angle and give the other this sympathetic look that said, "I can see into your soul, I know exactly what you're feeling right now, and I care SO much." The two women would then make their way towards each other, arms outstretched, and climax in a protracted hug. Mind you, this behavior would be understandable if the women actually knew each other. But the strange thing was that perfect strangers in the group would share Knowing Hugs! Moreover, women would ford crowded rooms in order to give a Knowing Hug to a complete stranger! I don't think my description adequately conveys how overly familiar this act seemed, so feel free to ask me to demonstrate it the next time I see you.

The highlight of the week was meeting Martin Smith, who has the nifty title of "Theologian in Residence" at St. Columba's in Washington, D.C.


Martin has a sweet arrangement with St. Columba's that allows him to travel frequently to speak/teach/preach at retreats or other churches. My high opinion of his wit and charm was no doubt colored by his Oxford accent. At any rate, we had great conversations about all things churchy and gay, particularly the intersection of sexuality and monastic life (with which Martin was accustomed as a former member of the Society of St. John the Evangelist). We agreed that the conservative argument that all gay people are "called" to celibacy is hogwash. After all, a "calling" presupposes two legitimate choices, even though the conservative argument holds that gays who act on their homosexual tendencies are engaging in a sinful (and therefore illegitimate) choice. Moreover, I think it is insulting to those who actually feel a deep and personal call to celibate life to say that, "The path that you've chosen after much thought and deliberation is, by the way, the automatic calling of every gay person, whether they know it or not."

Martin's a good man. I hope our paths cross again. If they do, I will make sure to greet him by tilting my head and beaming a sympathetic look to him, before hugging him for 45 minutes.